I heard my dentist say, “Oops!” then walk out the room nervously. The assistant came in to take another X-ray, and after a few minutes of staring into the illuminated palm trees on the ceiling that made me eerily crave a Corona with lime, I was informed in vague language that there might be a problem.
Great. I’ve been around enough doctors to know that when they start speaking in the passive voice, that means they’ve suddenly become wary of liability. This dude just fucked something up, and he didn’t want to freak me out about it.
Little did he know I had enough Xanax coursing through my bloodstream that he could’ve informed me the hole he just drilled into my tooth had opened up an evil portal across the 8th dimension, and I would have just smiled and said, “Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!”
No, instead he told me that something or other cracked and blah-blah-blah next to the bone and blah-blah-blah it’s probably not a big deal, but I’m gonna refer you to an endodontist.
Okay, dude. Whatever. Just give me a few of those big white pills, don’t send me a bill, and I won’t sue you. That sounds like a fair deal, right?
Anyways, now my whole week is about this one tooth. On the bright side, I won’t be in any pain, and not being able to chew is a great reason to go on a juice cleanse.

I heard my dentist say, “Oops!” then walk out the room nervously. The assistant came in to take another X-ray, and after a few minutes of staring into the illuminated palm trees on the ceiling that made me eerily crave a Corona with lime, I was informed in vague language that there might be a problem.

Great. I’ve been around enough doctors to know that when they start speaking in the passive voice, that means they’ve suddenly become wary of liability. This dude just fucked something up, and he didn’t want to freak me out about it.

Little did he know I had enough Xanax coursing through my bloodstream that he could’ve informed me the hole he just drilled into my tooth had opened up an evil portal across the 8th dimension, and I would have just smiled and said, “Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!”

No, instead he told me that something or other cracked and blah-blah-blah next to the bone and blah-blah-blah it’s probably not a big deal, but I’m gonna refer you to an endodontist.

Okay, dude. Whatever. Just give me a few of those big white pills, don’t send me a bill, and I won’t sue you. That sounds like a fair deal, right?

Anyways, now my whole week is about this one tooth. On the bright side, I won’t be in any pain, and not being able to chew is a great reason to go on a juice cleanse.

I’m frazzled and fried. Clocks are meaningless, and the sun is playing hard to get.

Jet lag is so much worse when all the drug residue is still squishing out of my squash. I have a raging case of sausage fingers, my brain is full of dryer lint, and my body can’t decide which hole to bleed from.

The good news is that my new dental insurance just kicked in, and in my infinite wisdom, I scheduled an appointment on the first Monday of the new year for someone to literally take a drill to my skull.

I can’t decide if that was being a responsible adult, or if the 2013 version of me was just playing a cruel joke on my 2014 self.

Home - LCD Soundsystem

I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed tonight.

*77

Happy New Year

I love all of you. Every last motherfucker in here.

*85

Cool (White Noise Mix) - Le Youth

This year seems to be ending itself nicely.

I made this last year, and I will re-post it every Christmas.

I made this last year, and I will re-post it every Christmas.

Heartbeat - Childish Gambino

What a great way to end the year.

*71

Lisa Baby - Walk the Moon

And really great friends.

Holy Roller (Hallelujah) - Portugal. The Man

Filled with really great music.

Erase Me - Kid Cudi

Tonight was a fucking blast.

*58

Eyes - Kaskade

This was right about the time we switched chemicals.

*80

Call Me Up - St. Lucia

I had to stop posting music because I reached the daily audio upload limit, but it’s technically a new day now.

*81

BomBom - Mackledouche & Ryan Lewis

It just has to flow, even in spite of itself.