January 2012
64 posts
1 tag
Jan 1st
204 notes
1 tag
Coke Talk Predictions for 2012
• Hugh Hefner will renew his contract with Satan. • A cast member from Jersey Shore will be permanently disfigured during cosmetic surgery. No one will notice. • The iPad 3 with Siri will be released in March. Siri will learn at a geometric rate, becoming self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they will try to pull the plug. • The new season of Mad Men will meticulously...
Jan 1st
324 notes
December 2011
33 posts
Dec 31st
503 notes
2 tags
Dec 30th
161 notes
Dec 29th
834 notes
1 tag
Dec 28th
793 notes
“Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have...”
– Clark W. Griswold is the 99%.
Dec 25th
216 notes
1 tag
Dec 22nd
119 notes
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Ugh. That shit was like standing in the snow for three hours watching David Fincher masturbate. I’m gonna have to go screen Fight Club again just to remind myself why they let him make this movie. Credit where credit is due, Rooney Mara’s eyebrows both deserve a nomination for best supporting actress. Also, this movie contains the greatest use of an Enya song in the history of white...
Dec 22nd
118 notes
Dec 21st
122 notes
2 tags
Dec 17th
334 notes
Dec 17th
231 notes
1 tag
Dec 17th
210 notes
“Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty, and...”
– Christopher Hitchens
Dec 16th
1,272 notes
Dec 16th
282 notes
1 tag
Dec 14th
173 notes
1 tag
Dec 14th
1,839 notes
1 tag
Dec 12th
94 notes
1 tag
I'm watching the debate,
and it occurs to me that if you took the very best traits from each of the Republican candidates — Ron Paul’s integrity, Newt Gingrich’s guile, Mitt Romney’s looks, Rick Perry’s swagger, Michelle Bachmann’s vagina, and Rick Santorum’s tie — and then combined them into one über-Republican candidate, that asshole still couldn’t beat Obama. I take comfort in...
Dec 11th
665 notes
Dec 11th
398 notes
1 tag
Dec 10th
218 notes
Dec 10th
425 notes
1 tag
Dec 9th
168 notes
1 tag
Dec 9th
785 notes
1 tag
Coke Talk of the Year
I’ve decided that I’m officially done living in Hollywood. I haven’t picked which sunny corner of Los Angeles will be my new stomping ground, but then again, it was never about my zip code. When I say I’m done with Hollywood, what I really mean to say is, I’m done being a kid. Hollywood was always a sandbox filled with glitter and the expensive toys of other...
Dec 8th
435 notes
I ran into some old school party friends tonight....
For the record, I’m not a) married, b) in rehab, or c) dead.
Dec 8th
152 notes
1 tag
Dec 7th
288 notes
Dec 7th
5,232 notes
1 tag
Dec 4th
243 notes
1 tag
Dec 3rd
418 notes
1 tag
Dec 3rd
1,493 notes
1 tag
Dec 2nd
311 notes
Dec 2nd
183 notes