February 2010
32 posts
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Coke Talk of the Day
So yeah, Vajazzling exists.
This is another one of those moments where I’m jealous of all those Pasadena housewives who got to whore it up on the sunset strip in an old-school era when nobody had to get their shit waxed.
Those leathery bitches must be laughing at the sorry state of our scene. It’s not enough for us to pour a hot sticky mess all over our lady business to rip thick...
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Rent The Runway →
Yep. They did it, and they did it right. Fifteen million in venture capital for a “Netflix Meets Couture” business model. I already requested a membership.
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Coke Talk of the Day
If I were the director of marketing for the lady-business division over at Johnson & Johnson, my first day on the job would involve forming a strategic partnership with Christian Audigier’s various lifestyle brands to develop a cross-promotional line of feminine hygiene products.
That’s right. I would literally make Ed Hardy and Von Dutch Douchebags.
A shout-out from Molls? Fabulous. →
I’ve been a fan of hers long before Coke Talk was a gleam in my bloodshot eyes, and to this day, I still miss her defamer to-do’s.
Seriously, would someone please put Molly McAleer on television already?
I would have no problem pulling the trigger on Elisabeth Hasselbeck myself if it meant that Molls could pull up a chair next to Babs on The View.
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Has anyone considered applying the Netflix...
All I need is three million dollars and a warehouse in Hollywood and I’ll revolutionize how you bitches feed your Louboutin habit.
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Personal lists upon which the Winter Olympics are...
Things that are irrelevant.
Things that NBC continues to fuck up.
Things that when blogged about will cause me to unfollow you.
Coke Talk of the Day
I just saw a preview for a family comedy starring Carlos Mencia. As if that wasn’t bad enough, in this preview a goat eats a bottle of Viagra and then tries to mount Academy Award winning actor Forrest Whitaker.
What the fuck, America? This is what you want? Racist bestiality humor and Carlos Mencia? I’ve really about had enough of your drooling retardedness.
I know it’s mostly...
My fucking tires were slashed today. Love you too,...
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Still looking for a pen name.
Thanks to everyone who sent in names. They were pretty hilarious and seem to break down into five very odd categories.
Fictional Characters Audrey Horne Elvira Hancock Doralee Rhodes
Drug References Allison Snow Jessica Powder Anita Line
Germanic Nobility Allison Von Dorland Petra Von Kunt Coco Von Trapp
Hipster Band Names F. Murray Kill Voletta Black Lady Tramp
Drag Queens Miss Demeanor Foxy...
Say my name, bitches. →
I need a pen name.
I can’t use my real one, and referring to myself as Coke Talk makes me feel like an asshole. It’s a bit like Bobby Flay signing his checks as Iron Chef, you know? Super tacky.
Thing is, I can’t seem to re-name myself. It just feels weird. I already have a name, and coming up with a fake one makes me feel like I’m gearing up for a career in porn. I...
